Notes from author
Yes, I actually made this build...for forest trolling.
Camp in forest. Wait for invader. Stand there looking awesome. Wait for invader to approach, buff Zweihander with CMW, cast TwOP and...
Stagger towards them with your slow-walking character who doesn't even have the strength to lift the grass crest shield without straining.
Swing repeatedly, spam the empty Estus flask animation, hit 'em with "WELL? WHAT IS IT?" after you start getting destroyed and then walk off a cliff.
I'm such a little kid, I get giggles out of doing this. Plus people can brag that they killed The Legend.