Notes from author
The Legend never dies, but his fat, cranky old dad won't go away either. "GET OFF MY LAWN KID" - Grumpy Giant Grandpa
Grandpa is a mean old curmudgeon. He sees all of Lordran as his property & invades low-mid levels to keep youngsters out.
Grandpa is a dirty bastard. Beware his dark hand lest he suck the life right out of you. He scoffs at young recklessness, hence his high poise which allows him to face-grab frantic RB/R1 spammers.
Grandpa's too old to fast roll, but he still gets around.
Grandpa has a nasty cough. Watch out for his toxic/poisonous mist.
Sometimes he throws grumpy old man tantrums called "Fire Tempest."
Like many senile old men, Grandpa flings his feces at others.
Grandpa thinks flasking is for wimps. He's a grouch who imposes his old school views on others with Lloyd's Talismans.
Grandpa doesn't approve of toggle escapers & thinks they should take his stunlocks like a man. That's why he dead angles unlocked to teach those toggle/setup parry showoffs a lesson.
Grandpa doesn't "Well! What is it!" like a New G Giantdad. He boasts like an OG Warrior. Upon victory, he jiggles his hard-won man-boobs & belly fat like a pure alpha silverback. [Equip an unusable item & press x/square to watch him wiggle]
If Grandpa needs assistance or feels like he's having a heart attack due to age & obesity, he'll call for help. Kindly drop some humanity for him when he pleads, "Help me!" [Swap out poison knife with carving if so desired]
Grandpa sometimes sends hatemail via XBL/PSN. He's a crabby, impatient old wretch with no shame about speaking his mind. Typical Tea Party conservative & Dark Souls neckbeard.
Don't stab Grandpa in the back. Rude to do to an old man, even if he is a filthy backstabber himself (which he is). Sometimes Grandpa menuswaps a hornet ring like a rotten scheming dirtbag (which he is).
Grandpa likes to have >= 1500 HP to keep up with the SL 125 township tryhards.
<3,
Doobey Dibbles, Scrubby Derpwraith
