I'll peck u m8 I swear on my MoM. All day. Scaling? What's that? All I know is I got 1 E. Ain't nobody got time fo stats. Suck on dat bleed. Pfft, just gonna stand there and iron flesh through your bull. Who needs a shield? I wield solid Monster(tm) in my offhand. Fight me broski.
What? You'll spam backstabs? ...shut up. Fuck your punishment. Fuck it. God damn it.
...
Anyway...
Turtle? Who needs that? I am become bird. I'll peck your fucking face off.
...fuck your hornet ring. Fuck you. 'snot fair. *cries*